Posted On: July 26, 2007, 3:17 pm CDT

Posted By: Slim

Stuart Smalley says:

* Low self-esteem... lead to eating as a way to comfort yourself.
* Emotional concerns... lead to overeating. Some people eat to calm themselves...
* Trauma... can contribute to overeating.
* Alcohol... may cause you to gain more weight around your stomach.
* Medicines or medical conditions... may also cause weight gain. Examples include having Cushing's syndrome or hypothyroidism or taking antidepressants or corticosteroids." WHILE CONTINUING TO EAT LIKE A HORSE.

In every instance, it's eating and drinking that causes weight gain. Even if you are on steroids and if puffs you up, LAY OFF THE BREAD STICKS.

One could as easily say that he steals to make himself feel better. "Maybe I ought to steal a nice coat to increase my self esteem."

I know a family of six, four of whom are way fat. If you go there for dinner you get the bread and the cheese and the huge portions of pasta, but they blame their doublebutts on "glands." I repeat: no adult could possibly remain overweight on 1200 calories a day. But if that doesn't work, move it down to 1100. EXERCIZE THE OL' TRICEPS and push yerself away from the table.