IBC Picks Canada's 2005 "Top Ten" Insurance Crimes
International News • December 21, 2005
The Insurance Bureau of Canada has released its annual Top Ten Insurance Crimes list, which highlights "some of the strangest and most audacious insurance frauds and auto theft cases uncovered by ...
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Subject: RE: Canadian capers
Posted On: December 21, 2005, 2:06 pm CST
Posted By: John, eh?
Comment:
An American and two Canadians were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened.
"Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadians and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $100, we could return to the earth."
He continued, " So of course, I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $100, and the next thing I knew I was back here."
"That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?"
"Last I saw them," replied the American, "they were waiting for the government to pay for theirs."
Of course, the government didn't pay, so the two unfortunate Torontonians ended up in hell.
The devil stops in to check on them and sees in light jackets and bucket hats, grilling sausage and drinking beer.
The devil is astonished, "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves."
The two Canadians reply, "Well, ya know, we don't get much warm weather up there in Toronto, so we've just got to have a cook-out when the weather's THIS nice."
The devil is absolutely furious. He thinks to himself, "If these two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives, I'll just turn all the heat off in hell."
The next morning, the temperature is twenty below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, and people are gathered around a few dying embers trying to warm up.
The devil finds the Canadians jumping up and down, cheering and yelling, giving each other high fives. He is dumbfounded. "I don't understand," he says. "When I turn up the heat you're happy. Now it's freezing cold and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two?"
The Torontonians look at the devil in surprise, "Well, if hell froze over it must mean the Leafs have won the Stanley Cup."
Subject: RE: Canadian capers
"Well," said the American, "I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadians and I were standing at the gates of heaven. St. Peter approached us and said that we were all too young to die, and that for a donation of $100, we could return to the earth."
He continued, " So of course, I pulled out my wallet and gave him the $100, and the next thing I knew I was back here."
"That's amazing!" said one of the doctors, "But what happened to the other two?"
"Last I saw them," replied the American, "they were waiting for the government to pay for theirs."
Of course, the government didn't pay, so the two unfortunate Torontonians ended up in hell.
The devil stops in to check on them and sees in light jackets and bucket hats, grilling sausage and drinking beer.
The devil is astonished, "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves."
The two Canadians reply, "Well, ya know, we don't get much warm weather up there in Toronto, so we've just got to have a cook-out when the weather's THIS nice."
The devil is absolutely furious. He thinks to himself, "If these two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives, I'll just turn all the heat off in hell."
The next morning, the temperature is twenty below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, and people are gathered around a few dying embers trying to warm up.
The devil finds the Canadians jumping up and down, cheering and yelling, giving each other high fives. He is dumbfounded. "I don't understand," he says. "When I turn up the heat you're happy. Now it's freezing cold and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two?"
The Torontonians look at the devil in surprise, "Well, if hell froze over it must mean the Leafs have won the Stanley Cup."