Posted On: December 19, 2006, 7:06 pm CST

Posted By: John Kerry

All this talk about clowns reminds me of a trip I made with my brother to France, but I digress. Minicars are something to be considered; I myself prefer a fleet of Suburbans, but for little people, little cars make sense. I intend to pursue a more nuanced energy policy, where the little people can feel safer driving little cars. Under my plan, I consult a global test before allowing any more SUV's on the road. If we pass the global test, then we don't get SUV's. If we fail to pass the test, then we don't get SUV's, but we, I mean people like me, we get to enjoy the warm, 75 degree weather which my little friend Micro Car Jeff is forecasting due to globalular warming. I've already put my wife's manufacturing facilities to work on producing a suntan oil that looks and tastes like ketchup, but comes with and spf factor 15. But seriously folks, my opponent, he voted for tax cuts for the rich and then he gave tax breaks to big oil. When Barak Osama and I take office, we will end the corruption of culture and enforce nothing but nuanced, multifaceted, multiculture. If we combine that with a $.50 tax per gallon of gas, we can end globular warming before Al Gore can get elected.