Posted On: October 10, 2008, 2:31 pm CDT

Posted By: Even Libs think this is funny

From the MANITOBA HERALD, Manitoba, Canada

A flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada
has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased
patrols to stop the illegal immigration.

The possibility of a McCain/Palin election is prompting the exodus
among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hold
down a job, hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of
sociology professors, animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing
their fields at night. I went out to milk the cows the other day, and
there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn,' said Manitoba
farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The
producer was cold, exhausted and hungry.

'He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken.
When I gave him some fresh warm goat milk he tossed his cookies and
left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?'

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher
fences, but the liberals dug under them. So he tried installing
speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. 'Not real
effective,' he said. 'The liberals still got through but many were
crying as they ran through the corn fields'

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet
liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station
wagons, drive them across the border and leave them to fend for
themselves. 'A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged
conditions,' an Ontario border patrolman said. 'I found one carload
without a drop of drinking water and wearing sandals. 'They did have
a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though.'

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often
wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors
have been circulating about the McCain administration establishing
re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to shoot wolves
from airplanes, deny evolution, and actually work for a living. So
much job training is needed it is cheaper to just put them in a motel
and provide room service. At least they don't break equipment.

In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes ingenious ways of
crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on
bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a
half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian
immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the
supposed senior-citizen passengers on Red Skelton and Rosemary
Clooney hits to prove they were alive in the '50s. 'If they can't
identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get
suspicious about their age,' an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that these illegal immigrants are
creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan
Sarandon movies.

'I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just
can't support them,' an Ottawa resident said.
'How many lawyers, art-history and English majors does one country
need?