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These stories are always awful, but I can\’t help but think maybe there should be better controls at home as well as on the individual sites. I think MySpace does have a responsibility to provide safety mechanisms for its users, but there\’s only so much they can do. I don\’t have any children, so I\’m not any source of how to parent, but if we\’re not going to get rid of this internet thing, it seems a lot of responsibility is going to fall on the parents. Definitely sad for the children, but I don\’t think suing websites is the answer.
AZUW – I don\’t think there is suddenly a rash increase of predators. Some of our politicians and the media are having a grand time generating \”politics of fear\” and \”media hype\”. I got into studying the issue and what I learned is that the true numbers are not increasing. It is how the numbers are counted. The FBI is counting every communication between two people that is sexually suggestive, as solicitation. That includes two teenage girls talking to each other online about what they do with their boyfriends.
The \”predators\” are in majority – males looking to meet females for what is really just that old normal birds and bees/boy meets girl or vice versa stuff. When I went checking myspace out as a parent, I saw teenage girls all over the place lying about their age – well I guess we did that too when I was one. Except now, it really works well to feed the irrational hysteria that is going on when an older male falls into the teenage girls trap.
I might also add that the internet is a place where people can present themselves to be anything and anybody. And so many are doing exactly that. It is not for purposes of preying on others. It rather is like superegos expressing inner fantansies and playing out roles. They are having fun and as teenagers have always loved to do, freaking out the establishment in their process.
I would bet those FBI guys are having a heck of a lot more fun too playing sex police rather than going after real criminals.
I\’ve got to add one more thing. Media is really driving hysteria over pedophiles – they are everywhere, everywhere after our children!! Oh John Walsh of America\’s Most Wanted is so heart rendering about how his son was killed by a pedophile! Except truth be told – they never found the killer of his son. Nor did they find enough pieces of the boys body to know whether he was sexually assaulted or not.
First, pedophiles are adults who have sexual preference for children – and that means children under the age of 12 and an adult over the age of 21. They are actually very rare and they do not kill. Killing is more for the psychopaths who kill all ages of people. When sex involves a teenager and someone older, it is not pedophilia.
All most all pedophilia involves family or very close friends and is between two, rarely repeated with others.
Most often what is going on with these teenagers we hear about is statutory rape which means violation of age of consent laws. That is to say, the teenager wanted to do it but the other person was past the legal age limit (3 years older in my state of Texas) and thus, is charged with sexual assault.
Yes pedophiles are horrible individuals and there is no excuse for what they do, but for these parents to blame Myspace.com for what happend to thier daughters is just outrageous. Perhaps if you kept a better eye on what sites they are surfing and who they are meeting with. Underaged children aren\’t even supposed to be on the site per the webmaster you must be 18+ to have a profile!!!! Nobody seems to want to take responsiblity for thier actions…WATCH YOUR KIDS MORE DILIGENTLY AND YOU WON\’T HAVE THESE PROBLEMS!!!!!
As a parent of a 21 yr old girl, I have had experience with her internet usage as a teen. As most teens go, she saw that any rules I set were made to be broken. I finally had to install a net nanny software to monitor her usage after I got up one night at 2:00 and saw she had gotten out of bed and was on the computer IM her \”boyfriend\” in NY. (We live in IA). We even moved the computer into the kitchen of our home so we could monitor her usage, but she found ways to hide what she was doing. (Supposedly working on homework but hiding her IM\’s in the background).
I took every opportunity to share with her that the people she was talking to could be lying about who they were. I myself had a couple of horror stories with women I met online in the early days of AOL chat rooms, so I knew what I was talking about.
Luckily everything turned out okay, but I know how easy it is for a kid to get tied into a person that shows an interest in them. Most teens have such low esteem that it only takes someone to focus on them to get them to \”fall in love\” with them.
Its not necessarily bad parenting. Its uninformed parenting. Many parents don\’t realize how easy it is for pedophiles to get in touch with their children. It used to be that all parents needed to worry about were the people in their town. \”Never talk or go with strangers\” was sufficient. Parents are now up against the world. Many parents also can\’t navigate the internet as well as their children.
If communication does not come easily in a family, the parents are completely ignorant as to the activities of their child.
There is no way to completely make the internet safe. If a person wants to harm another, they will find a way. The only feasable way to protect ones children is to learn how to use the internet as well as the kids do and keep communication lines open in the home.
Its not going to get any easier as technology improves and the use of it becomes more essential.
OK they have access at school, they can access from their PSP or nintendo anywhere there is WIFI and now from their cell phones so unless you expect parents to handcuff themselves to thier child 24/7 the providers of theses services should take some responsiblity. Hey movies are rated r and the theater is supposed to enforce it not the parents you have to be 21 to buy beer and th store enforces it not the parents get off the soap box and face reality
Raising a kid in the internet age has to be one of the scariest things… but I see this as our litagious society once again attempting to shun the burden of responsibility off of the individuals involved and onto an institution in an effort to obtain a settlement (money).
I don\’t see how anybody can think the website is at all responsible. They have no way of knowing when a 45 yr old sets up an account claiming to be 18. Myspace didn\’t set up the \”date\” for these kids. They did it on their own. Myspace didn\’t tell them to meet these people face to face. And I would assume that Myspace probably has warnings that it is not good to meet strangers alone. All this is is another litigation lottery for people who won\’t take any personal responsibility for their or their kids actions. Sadly, there will be some liberal jury out there that sees it differently and will award millions of dollars for ignorance and bad parenting. Maybe we can get the assemblywoman from CA that is trying to outlaw spanking to add an amendment to her bill that if a parent allows their teenager to meet with a pedophile, the parent goes to jail!!
I consider myself mostly blessed but with some parenting abilities. I have been able to successfully navigate a son to the age of 21 with little-to-no \”damage\”. He never had a tv or computer in his room, and never asked for them. He grew up thinking that it was normal for me to talk with him about his day, his homework, his friends, etc. Parents can\’t wait until their kids reach the age where they are going to start getting into trouble before they take an active interest in more than carpooling them to karate and soccer. I know it\’s tough sometimes after a long day, but taking the time to be a real parent is the best investment I ever made.
That being said, I think that MySpace, as well as schools, churches, scout troops, etc. have a societal obligation to put into place any safeguards available in order to protect kids, as well. Everybody is so busy laying blame with somebody else and the kids are the ones who end up hurting. While I agree that the litigious state in this country is out of control, I don\’t think that any one of us, if we were in a situation like this, would sit back and take full blame for it. We all need to work together to raise safer, smarter kids.
I agree in every respect if we were talking about any other issue but you obviously dont have kids or yours have grown up prio to thi stuff. I can get a wifi access outside a coffee shop on my son\’s psp–I didn\’t even know it could get internet access-I didn;t buy it my ex wife did. The world is complex and kids need to be protected that is why we have different laws for children then for adults logic and reason cease to extist and if myspace is not going to require parental authorization for setting up a minor\’s account or at least a credit card to verify age then they should be responsible—!
Well, I do have two kids, boys age 16 and 18. The 18yr old definately lost his halo along time ago, but he will graduate high school and has never spent a night in jail. The 16yr old, well, the girls are so after him he doesn\’t have time to get into trouble. As I always tell them both, no glove, no love. I know where they both are all the time. They have to check in regulary and tell me where they are and who they are with. The 18yr old tried the \”I am 18 so I can do what I want\” routine. It lasted about 3 days. Nipped it in the bud really quick. I do things with my boys; fishing, camping, paintball. I never miss a football game if at all possible. My life revolves around their needs. Do they use the internet? sure, do they look at porn? probably. But they also know their limits and I don\’t believe you can blame a website for not being able to weed out liars and cheats on their sites. Even the cops pose as kids to lure these guys. The ultimate responsibility is on the parents and on the kids themselves. I am sure most have been told not to talk with strangers.
There is no age requirement on myspace and to access adult profiles all you have to do is check the YES box saying you are of age. Should they take steps to protect their users? Certainly & perhaps the lawsuits will help that to happen. They are there for one reason and that is to make money. That is the main reason most people start companies. Maybe the threat of loosing some money will make them more \”responsible\”. So attorney\’s take advantage of peoples problems & get greedy? Sure, but all that is a different problem.
Are the partents responsible too? YES.
The problem with their & others parenting of their children is based on several things in general. Some their \”fault\” and some not.
1 – Lack of parental supervision with both parents working outside the home and not spending the time together.
2 – Lack of spiritual and moral guidance in the family and the erosion of all things positive in today\’s society. Why do we accept the things we do into our homes on TV and the net?
3 – Kids are many times much more computer savy than their parents and have greater access with the phones and other devices they all seem to have nowdays to the net and yet they are much more easily taken in by predators due to their lack of maturity, experience and trusting nature.
4 – Lack of positive roll models and other adults that will take a roll in helping to protect these young people from themselves and those that prey on them. Too many times people seem to accept perversions such as child pornography and child sex as perhaps not being for them but otherwise not opposing them either. \”It\’s not for me but some people area just born that way\” or \”as long as it isn\’t happening to me\” I don\’t have time. Well it is happening to you and to I if you live here in the USA, have family you love. Also if you pay taxes & end up paying the finincial cost these thing bring on society with extra law enforcement and \”help\” programs. These people just like the rest of us have a choice in our behavior! We can choose to be law abiding and decent people. We can choose to vote for people who would help prosecute those that do these things. WE can choose to not let these things into our homes.
The 14 yr old female we have a chance to parent at times is not allowed either at her home or at ours to access MySpace. Other sites are regulated and supervised as much as possible. She knows she can talk to any of us about anything and so the communication lines are open. Her privacy is respected but there is a balance with the rules and watchful caring eyes to protect her. Love and watch and help protect your family.
The lawsuits are pure B.S. This is a total money grab and nothing more. I hope the lawsuits get thrown out of court and I hope the \”families\” have to pay for MySpaces\’ legal fees. MySpace does not owe it to anybody to be a parent to the children on that website. The parents need to be the parents and they (and their children) are solely to blame for what happened to them. The kids and the parents are completely stupid if they can not realize that what happened to their kids can happen anywhere and anytime and not just on the internet. Talk about serious money grubbers.
I think the lawsuit has merit. But only if the lawsuit comes directly from the children. And they should be forced to sue their parents as well as MySpace. And if they win any money, it should come from the parents first. The money should be put into an account to be spent only on their education. Any excess should go towards a scolarship to other kids with bad parents.
I was just wondering if I was still on the insurance journal website or if I had been navigated to parentingmagazine.com???
You all seem to be wonderful parents and have all the answers to raising a kid \”the right way.\” So, can we please get back to the insurance end of this issue?
I would like to know what type of insurance would cover Myspace for a lawsuit such as this? What changes/upgrades will Myspace be required to implement if these lawsuits are upheld by a judge? Will those changes modify the current form of that coverage?
Just a little change of direction for those of us who are not hear for a lesson on how to raise our kids in the age of the internet. Thank you.
I agree. These parents did not teach their kids how to protect themselves from predators. You tell you kid no sex. But then you tell your kid if you do have sex, where protection. Well the same thing goes for the internet. The kids should be taught that if you are going to meet someone from the internet, meet them in a public place with friends. A pedafile (spell??) will not meet in a public place and will want the kid alone. Some parents need to use some sense and take responsibilty for not teaching the kids. Oh, one last thing, what would have happened if this website was operated and owned by a company not here in the USA? Something to think about.
as constantly confirmed by his meaningless posts. Couldn\’t pass the bar and now bags biggie fries at Mickey D\’s!
OK, how would they sue if MySpace was owned and operated by a foreign company? I own and operate two websites. How can I protect myself? Let me know if anyone knows of any insurance out there for us website owners and what it would cover?
It is wonderful that in this day and age the responsibility of having a child ends for the parents at birth. After that we blame our doctors for not properly treating the children, sue the school teachers for not monitoring their habits, bring suit against grocery stores if our children steal from them, blame their friends for bad decisions, ban musicians because our children use drugs and alcohol, and sue websites for not watching our children when we should be. I wonder if it may be easier to just give the children to the “system” after they are born since this is where parents place all blame and responsibility. Lets face it parents only want to be responsible for their children when it suits them, the good and happy times, the ooohing and awing. But other than that they all seem to be under the impression that the blame should fall with someone else, their children would NEVER do something like this!!!!
It sounds like everyone agrees parenting is hard. Obviously, there are different parenting styles and different hazards to children now than there was 50 years ago. But, I don\’t think that means you can simply blaim the site. I heard someone mention CC verification…what if you leave your wallet on the table. I also heard people talking about how resourceful children can be (putting the computer in the kitchen). There is no way we can expect MySpace to weed out all the child molesters and pervs. I think these stories are tough because many times everyone feels they\’ve done enough, and still something bad happens. Well, I think that\’s how it goes sometimes. You can talk to your kids about sex, you can be involved in almost every aspect of their lives, you can know their friends, you can know their friend\’s parents…but in the end, you can\’t guarantee that something won\’t happen to them. I can easily see the reaction of the parents to sue MySpace…it\’s almost a way of saying, \”something awful happened to my kids, and I didn\’t do anything wrong!\” They may very well be true, but unless you\’re going to keep you kids locked in the basement for their entire lives, they are going to experience bad things. They may get it from the internet, they may get it from friends or classmates, they may get it from the movies, etc. I feel bad for these parents, but I just don\’t see how you can blame the individual website without blaming the entire internet. It is a relatively new thing, but so was the telephone at one time, and so were cars. I would be interested to know if more children are being molested now than 30 years ago, or if we just here about more now that we have 24/7 media coverage from Fox, CNN, MSNBC and so on.
Granted, today\’s challanges for parental control are truly awesome, but I do know bright sucessful young people who were raised with no T.V. It depends on the child. My daughter has had a sight on My Space for at least 3yrs if not more, I have one and all her friends and cousins. They use it to share pictures, comments, art and to share with one another. They do not respond to people they do not know and we have had the talk many times, even at the age of 24. In this world it is dangerous to respond to people you don\’t know – parents have to drive that home. Take the computer away. Oh yeah – there is money to be made here, huh?
And you (poster) are truly an ignorant ***. I am not a lawyer and never stated that I am a lawyer. Never attempted to \”pass the bar\” as I never studied to become an attorney. Are you naturally stupid or do you have to work hard for it. As for my job at Mickey D\’s, sorry I had to fire your mom and dad.