Mmmm … Insurance

In its 16 seasons on the air, Fox TV’s The Simpsons has skewered every aspect of American life, from family to government, business to politics. Many Springfield professionals of questionable repute have been represented as recurring characters on the show.

There’s Moe, the sleazy bartender who repeatedly lures town drunk Barney out of sobriety. There’s “Diamond Joe” Quimby, the corrupt mayor and ladies’ man with a pseudo Ted Kennedy accent. There’s Lionel Hutz, the scummy lawyer. There’s Nick Riviera, a quack doctor who advises Homer on how best to fatten himself up and after treating a patient says, “The most rewarding part was when he gave me my money.”

There’s real-estate agent Cookie Kwan who threateningly warns industry newcomer Marge to “Stay off the West Side!” There’s even corporate consultant/financial adviser/marketing guru Lindsay Naegle. And yet, in the universe of Springfield characters that numbers in the hundreds, there’s no recurring insurance producer–not even a captive agent.

The show’s writers either don’t think insurance is funny, or that agents are so reputable that they couldn’t possibly get a laugh out of such a character. Yeah, that must be it!

That said, there have been a few insurance-related jokes throughout the course of the show. In “Simpson and Delilah,” Homer learns of an expensive treatment for baldness. In order to buy it, he defrauds his employer’s medical insurer. When filling out the claim form and asked the reason for the medication, Homer writes, “To keep brain from freezing.”

In “Mr. Plow,” Homer gets drunk one night and smashes his new snow plow truck into Marge’s station wagon. When the insurance adjuster comes to interview him about the accident, they have the following conversation:

Adjuster: Now, before I give you the check, one more question. This place

“Moe’s’ you left just before the accident. This is a business of some kind?

Homer: [thinks] Don’t tell him you were at a bar! Gasp! But what else is open at night? [aloud] It’s a pornography store. I was buying pornography.

[thinks] Heh, heh, heh. I would’ve never thought of that.

In “Homer the Heretic,” a fire tears through the Simpson home. Homer has the following conversation with another insurance adjuster.

Adjuster: Any valuables in the house?

Homer: Well, the Picasso, my collection of classic cars …
Adjuster: Sorry, this policy only covers actual losses, not made-up stuff.

Homer: [miffed] Well, that’s just great!
Speaking of made-up stuff, here’s your Midwest connection: The Simpsons are clearly a Midwestern family, for better or worse. I say the Springfield of the show is the one in Missouri. What do you think?