This is BS and will fail…..John Stossel did a show about how lawyers have caused more harm than good with tort abuse….a gas can manufacturing co was sued out of business by people getting burned by doinf stupid things with gas cans because the spouts were dangerous…i.e., they didn’t prevent the flow of gas. So now the spouts are unusable….I got a new can, filled it, the spout would not work (and I am very mechanically inclined) no way no how so I resorted to removing the spout and pouring from the can and a funnel, spilling gas in the process. SO what’s more dangerous?
Yes, wait till they get their first slip & fall. I hope it’s a dusey.
Daddy is out mowing the lawn one day. Four year old junior sees him. Daddy runs out of gas so gets the gas can and refills the mower. Junior seeing this and watching daddy walk away grabs the gas can and pours gasoline on top of his plastic toy lawn mower. The toy lawn mower having no real gas tank in it has the spilled gas fall off the toy mower and on to the ground in the garage. A hot water heater in the garage near the toy mower provides the ignition source for the spilled gasoline and badly burns junior. Now I feel bad for junior and his parents. But the gas can did not leak, it did not improperly pour, it put the gas exactly where junior pointed it. The gas can was clearly marked “gasoline” and had numerous warnings about the dangers of the contents of the can. It functioned exactly as it was designed and intended. It was clearly misused. But the manufacturer paid millions because, “Somebody had to pay for the serious injuries inflicted upon junior.” I’d love to hear Ralph explain the justice in that decision by our great tort system.
I’m with you guys 100%, but we do have to admit that seat belts have been one of the greatest life savers that have happened since the invention of the auto.
but I still agree on the bottom feeders and their frivolous lawsuits being the worst thing ever – – –
A big biker dude was drinking bourbon one day, so he was kind of in the mood to start some $%^&. So he goes into a yuppie-type bar and yells out, “Lawyers are bassholes!” (or something like that)
Everyone looked over at this guy, but he was pretty scary looking. One guy, having filled himself with liquid courage, staggered right up to the biker and slurred, “Hey man, you take that back! I take offense to that!”
The biker looked at him and chuckled derisively, “Lawyer, huh?”
One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the road-side eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate.
He asked one man, “Why are you eating grass?”
“We don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied. “We have to eat grass.”
“Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I’ll feed you,” the lawyer said.
“But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree.”
“Bring them along,” the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, “You may come with us, also.”
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, “But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!”
“Bring them all as well,” the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, ”Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.”
The lawyer replied, “Glad to do it. You’ll really love my place.”
This is BS and will fail…..John Stossel did a show about how lawyers have caused more harm than good with tort abuse….a gas can manufacturing co was sued out of business by people getting burned by doinf stupid things with gas cans because the spouts were dangerous…i.e., they didn’t prevent the flow of gas. So now the spouts are unusable….I got a new can, filled it, the spout would not work (and I am very mechanically inclined) no way no how so I resorted to removing the spout and pouring from the can and a funnel, spilling gas in the process. SO what’s more dangerous?
Yes, wait till they get their first slip & fall. I hope it’s a dusey.
Speaking of gas cans, here’s a great real claim.
Daddy is out mowing the lawn one day. Four year old junior sees him. Daddy runs out of gas so gets the gas can and refills the mower. Junior seeing this and watching daddy walk away grabs the gas can and pours gasoline on top of his plastic toy lawn mower. The toy lawn mower having no real gas tank in it has the spilled gas fall off the toy mower and on to the ground in the garage. A hot water heater in the garage near the toy mower provides the ignition source for the spilled gasoline and badly burns junior. Now I feel bad for junior and his parents. But the gas can did not leak, it did not improperly pour, it put the gas exactly where junior pointed it. The gas can was clearly marked “gasoline” and had numerous warnings about the dangers of the contents of the can. It functioned exactly as it was designed and intended. It was clearly misused. But the manufacturer paid millions because, “Somebody had to pay for the serious injuries inflicted upon junior.” I’d love to hear Ralph explain the justice in that decision by our great tort system.
I have to follow the comments here if for no other reason to hear all the good lawyer jokes.
Let me start.
What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start!
I’m with you guys 100%, but we do have to admit that seat belts have been one of the greatest life savers that have happened since the invention of the auto.
but I still agree on the bottom feeders and their frivolous lawsuits being the worst thing ever – – –
Yep, seat belts are good. Come on guys, I want lawyer jokes!
I don’t think seat belts came out of liability, but rather safety.
I wonder if copies of John Grisham’s “King of Torts” will be available in the museum gift shop?? ;-)
Our tort system is in need of major surgery and Mr. Nader’s last quote shows he is quite out of touch.
OK, here’s another one.
Q: Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments instead of rats?
A: They don’t become so attached to the lawyers.
Now I want to hear more from you guys.
ok Dave.. Here is one.
Q: What’s the difference between a trampoline and a lawyer…
A: You take your shoes off to jump on a trampoline.
A big biker dude was drinking bourbon one day, so he was kind of in the mood to start some $%^&. So he goes into a yuppie-type bar and yells out, “Lawyers are bassholes!” (or something like that)
Everyone looked over at this guy, but he was pretty scary looking. One guy, having filled himself with liquid courage, staggered right up to the biker and slurred, “Hey man, you take that back! I take offense to that!”
The biker looked at him and chuckled derisively, “Lawyer, huh?”
The other guy says, “No, I’m a basshole!”
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a hooker?
A hooker only screws one person at a time.
One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the road-side eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate.
He asked one man, “Why are you eating grass?”
“We don’t have any money for food,” the poor man replied. “We have to eat grass.”
“Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I’ll feed you,” the lawyer said.
“But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree.”
“Bring them along,” the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, “You may come with us, also.”
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, “But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!”
“Bring them all as well,” the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine. Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, ”Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.”
The lawyer replied, “Glad to do it. You’ll really love my place.”
“The grass is almost a foot high.”
I wonder what insurance company would be willing to cover the museum’s liability exposure.
This article sponsored by the law firm of Dewey, Shaftim and Howe.
Why do leopards sometimes consumer elephant dung?
To get rid of the tast of the laywer they just ate…