Canadian underwear brand UNDZ has announced that as of March 15 it has arranged to provide a “$50,000 insurance policy to protect its customers’ most prized asset” – in simpler terms it’s offering men who wear their brand p—s insurance, as the bulletin politely put it.
UNDZ has arranged a partnership with Lloyd’s in recognition of the London market’s long established history of covering (with an insurance policy, not literally) celebrities’ body parts. UNDZ noted that coverage has recently included “both David Beckham and Mariah Carey’s legs and Bruce Springsteen’s vocal chords.”
UNDZ founder Bertrand Dore explained: “A man can get insurance for his car, dog, house, land and life but not for his p—s? Well, I thought that was absurd. UNDZ is making it possible for men all over the world to protect their most important asset and we are excited to have the backing of one of the most prominent insurance companies* in the world.”
An insurance policy of US$50,000 “will be provided to all customers who purchase three or more pairs of UNDZ,” said the announcement. “The policy states that the holder’s p—s must be detached from the body in order for a pay out to take place. The caveat is that a close relative, friend or lover cannot have removed it. Additionally it cannot have been removed intentionally as a result of surgery.
“Similar to life insurance, the policy can be purchased and held by the one’s self or the policy can be purchased by an individual for another person. A digital certificate of insurance is provided at the time of purchase.”
*Although Mr. Dore described Lloyd’s as an insurance company, it is actually an insurance market. Coverage is placed by Lloyd’s brokers with the individual syndicates that comprise the Lloyd’s market.