HOWEVER, I was sexually abused as a teenager, and through therapy, I GOT OVER IT.
So do thousands who did not have the good fortune to be abused by someone belonging to a religious order.
Stop, for God’s sake, begging for $$. Start begging, instead, for justice.
Prosecute and jail the offenders if they are alive. Only if they are dead should monetary damages be awarded. And if the chuch heirarchy was involved, jail those with knowledge for facilitating a felony.
I have been victimized too and could care less to see again less known SUE for recompense for what happened to me. I am so over it and am a happy, well-adjusted, fully functioning and sexually active human being. My thing is that people should “OUT” these folks before they further harm others. Getting money doesn’t solve anything and you should be man or woman enough to just stand up to the abusers, point the finger and let justice be served. Jail time and expulsion are more than satisfying. Even if they are dead money should not be award. What’s that saying? A man’s deeds will follow him to the grave or something like that.
The abuser’s reputation will be damaged and really a fund should be set up to assist victims with therapy not make them insta-millionaires. More money, more problems. It’s like having a wino win the lottery. Most of these people are not taking these settlements and getting themselves some help. Money can sometimes only aggravate the pre-existing conditions.
Being sexually abused as a child myself, I can understand the reason for the suit.
It brings closure, if anything. I kept my secret for 3 years until I had the nerve to tell my mother what had happened to me
(I was 13 when I was finally “set free”) by my uncle, someone I thought I could trust. I felt so relieved I was happy just to be set free of carrying the burden for those years. I couldn’t care less of what would happen to my uncle…but that was the strange part….back in the 60’s, this was NEVER discussed and never handled – it was always “swept under the rug”.
Unfortunately, that was the start of many years of therapy for me. I am still going thorugh it. I was never able to confront him. I did confront my aunt and cousins…total denial. Now that he has passed away, I cannot forgive myself for not facing him and make him take responsibility for what he did.
So you see, that is why I have to disagree with you. This man has no other recourse other than civil court. The statute of limitations has run out for any type of criminal prosecution. It’s just that some people are stronger than others and each case has its own story.
Nicely stated, but the fact remains that the man is after money.
If what you are saying is that money cures the hurt, I guess you are entitled to that position. However, wallowing in 30 years of unhappiness does not seem to me to be at all productive–and is probably destructive.
I understand your point totally. My abuses were a mixture of neighbors, babysitters and relatives so really I should be screwed up but I am not. Two of my abusers were uncles and I see them sporadically which REALLY helps. The hardest thing was telling my husband because of what his possible attitude would be and being a former Navy guy, you can correctly guess I had my reservations if he wouldn’t kill my uncle. I love my uncles but I don’t have to be around them and my family found out when I was 16. I have no clue if my dad confronted his younger brother but I feel free too that it was no longer hidden inside me.
Be that as it may, a stranger I would still rather see in jail because there is a “code” for molesters in the prison system and in a morbid way, I would rather they get a taste of their own medicine in the pen than get money from them. That money would remind me of what I had to go through to get it. See my point? I could to Macy’s and shop till I drop but in the midnight hour I would still have to wrestle with those demons. There’s not enough Michael Kors or Ralph Lauren in my closet ro cover the pain and it’s really kind of weird to get paid for that. I would rather safeguards be put in place to make sure it never happens again too.
What I am saying has nothing to do with money and all to do with making the person accountable for his crime. In my point of view, if my uncle were still alive, I would sue in a Civil Court – no statute there in California….I would probably sue for $1.00 – this would make my uncle “face the music”.
Again, please don’t judge me until you have wilked a mile in my shoes. Abuse is abuse….until it happens to you, please don’t judge…..
No worries. I am so glad I married someone with a little temper. If I ever changed my forgiving stance, I would gladly pay my husband to get me some physical restitution which is PRICELESS!
While I am not a direct victim, I am an indirect one in that my wife was abused (uncle and boyfriend) long before we were married. It did not come to light until she began to see a counselor for a generalized malaise that she could not pinpoint. Fortunately, he was well versed in sexual abuse, and identified the problem within 2 months. There were many ugly times during therapy and along the road to recovery–and although there may not be a lighted sign that says, “IT’S OVER”, it does not consume her.
My point is that reliving the occurrence(s) in a public forum is pointless–and a dirtbag that chooses to abuse is not likely to be reformed or contrite. Counseling, and coming to a realization that the victim did not perpetrate the bad act is the key–not receipt of a jury verdict or settlement check.
It seems that for someone to not have the intestinal fortitude to come forward for THIRTY YEARS and only then after it’s become vogue and a source of quick cash is more than coincidence. I agree it’s all about the money otherwise they wouldn’t be asking for any. These kinds of things deserve an apology, reimbursement of medical expenses, and a fund to educate the clergy and prevent this going forward. Sending people to Disneyland makes no sense.
I am truly saddened to hear of the number of victims of sexual abuse (just in the IJ forum, no less), but I often wander if some of the “victims” would accept a lifetime of counseling in lieu of a multi-million dollar settlement. Has anyone heard of a similar suit, in which the alleged perp. was exonerated? If so, was his/her reputation completely restored?
One question needs to be answered: Why now? Why now, after 30+ years is this person suddenly coming forward and alleging he was molested? I agree with the idea of awarding counseling, but I am violently opposed to monetary settlements that don’t address the alleged “injury”. No amount of money resolves a psychological injury. Why does everything have to involve money? How deep has this society sunk?
Unfortunately society will only go deeper into the mire the more people are thrown huge gobs of cash for alleged incidents from decades ago. At least this time the alleged perp is still alive.
I have a message for him – get over it. It really is that simple. I did it. My sister did it. You just don’t let it affect your life. It truly is that simple. We did it without money and without the ability to send the guy to jail. We just got over it.
For those without whatever it takes to simply walk away from abuse, get some counseling. That should be the judgement – convicted perp to pay for counseling. Giving these people huge wads of cash only entices more people to sue for huge wads of cash. It does not give people “closure”, it does not prevent future abuse, it does not encourage true victims to come forth. Stop handing out money.
Some of the comments made about working for a living, this gentleman i know personally and has the work ethic of our father and so many of you are so quick to judge about this man when you don’t know anything about him. Since the time after all this has happened, this man learned God’s word, and to see what has been going on for years not just in the catholic church this is a sin problem. I remember Brother Kerry, and befriended my parents and I also remember after this abuse took place. I was a young kid, but I remember how it turned this young man on fire for God into a confused adult, but I also remember the day of his baptism. Giving his life to Christ. I know his heart and what really needs to happen here, Brother Kerry needs to go to God and ask him for forgiveness and do the same with this gentleman. People are always so quick to say it’s about money and all they need to do is hear the real story. What you need to ask for is for the media to show the physical proof, the picture of him drinking beer with these teenagers. Not one of those teenagers in the picture are old enough to buy alcohol. There is also a letter from Brother Kerry apologizing for what he did. Well the family kept that letter all these years. Don’t blame the planktiff for the sin that somebody else has committed. There is a lot of good God loving people in the catholic church. The problem is you want to think the best of a person and praying to God that they will change, I think thats why clergy men or priests are moved around. But the bible says to warn them once, warn them twice, bring them before the church, and if they don’t change then have nothing to do with them. Of course pray for them.
Pirate – I know everything I need to know about the case just from the fact that monetary damages are being asked for. The rest is moot in the eyes of the public. If what he wants is justice he shouldn’t sue for money. Justice would involve proving the priest guilty and having him sent to prison; not getting money from the church.
And churches need to realize they have to live under the law of the land too. They shouldn’t have the ability to punish internally for crimes committed by the clergy. These people should be hauled in front of a secular court and thrown in prison. Anybody who abets abuse by tranferring priests with criminal history to cover up the crimes should also be thrown in prison. Maybe if enough of them suffer true justice to be done they will realize that God may demand forgiveness, but the Constitution demands justice and will live accordingly.
Lastbat,
The article states that this happened over 30 years ago. The statute of limitations has probably run out for any type of criminal trial, so the victim has to resort to civil court.
I can understand the frustration of most of the posters. There are so many cases like this in litigation that you have to wonder if some of these people have an ulterior motive. Perhaps some do…maybe some don’t. Like I said in my previus post, I wish my abuser was still alive. I now have the courage to face him and his family (also my family…we were VERY close growing up) and if doing it in a civil court is the only way to bring some closure, so be it. Like I said, I would sue for a dollar….I would just want him to feel the humiliation that I felt for three years before I could tell anyone of my abuse.
On another note, I was born & raised Catholic. I went to parochial schools pre and post Vatican II. So have my children. I remeber well how all the boys got their heads slapped back for being smart. Nuns hiding rulers under their vestments….I am wondering why no one has come forth and complained about that as well. Watching these boys getting slapped at such a young age, and now all of the accusations of sexual abuse has soured me and now I question my own faith. What a shame……
it is a shell game…those in charge now take another job in the organization….the ones “responsible’ know nothing, are not available…OFM, are the worst offenders…
I’m from Carlsbad and it’s NM not CA. Allot of families and church members covered for Brother Kerry as they do for family members. The Franciscans were excellent Priest but there is always a bad seed everywhere. Brother hurt others was the rumor. Not only the one that is suing him. Brother picked the vulnerable boys. My friend told me brother molested her young brother and he went crazy. Brother liked the light skinned light eye boys. The boy that is suing him used to get drunk and pick fights at the CYO dances because he was jealous. There is blame here for the parents too. Why did you let them go with Brother Kerry out of town. As far as I know only one is suing and he is the one that used to fight because he was jealous. Brother Kerry was and is a embarrassment to the catholic faith.
If the abuse happened, lock up the perp.
HOWEVER, I was sexually abused as a teenager, and through therapy, I GOT OVER IT.
So do thousands who did not have the good fortune to be abused by someone belonging to a religious order.
Stop, for God’s sake, begging for $$. Start begging, instead, for justice.
Prosecute and jail the offenders if they are alive. Only if they are dead should monetary damages be awarded. And if the chuch heirarchy was involved, jail those with knowledge for facilitating a felony.
I have been victimized too and could care less to see again less known SUE for recompense for what happened to me. I am so over it and am a happy, well-adjusted, fully functioning and sexually active human being. My thing is that people should “OUT” these folks before they further harm others. Getting money doesn’t solve anything and you should be man or woman enough to just stand up to the abusers, point the finger and let justice be served. Jail time and expulsion are more than satisfying. Even if they are dead money should not be award. What’s that saying? A man’s deeds will follow him to the grave or something like that.
The abuser’s reputation will be damaged and really a fund should be set up to assist victims with therapy not make them insta-millionaires. More money, more problems. It’s like having a wino win the lottery. Most of these people are not taking these settlements and getting themselves some help. Money can sometimes only aggravate the pre-existing conditions.
Both of the earlier comments are correct. This guy really needs to get over what happened 30 years ago and get on with his life.
It would not hurt were he less self-absorbed and spent some time and energy helping others. Productive, meaningful WORK really does do wonders.
I live in Carlsbad, California and I have never heard of either San Jose Catholic Church or St. Edward Catholic Church of Carlsbad.
Likewise, I have never heard of the Carlsbad Current-Argus newspaper.
Are the publisher’s facts accurate? If these facts are inaccurate, what about the rest of this article?
It’s Carlsbad, New Mexico, not California.
Thank you for the correction.
Being sexually abused as a child myself, I can understand the reason for the suit.
It brings closure, if anything. I kept my secret for 3 years until I had the nerve to tell my mother what had happened to me
(I was 13 when I was finally “set free”) by my uncle, someone I thought I could trust. I felt so relieved I was happy just to be set free of carrying the burden for those years. I couldn’t care less of what would happen to my uncle…but that was the strange part….back in the 60’s, this was NEVER discussed and never handled – it was always “swept under the rug”.
Unfortunately, that was the start of many years of therapy for me. I am still going thorugh it. I was never able to confront him. I did confront my aunt and cousins…total denial. Now that he has passed away, I cannot forgive myself for not facing him and make him take responsibility for what he did.
So you see, that is why I have to disagree with you. This man has no other recourse other than civil court. The statute of limitations has run out for any type of criminal prosecution. It’s just that some people are stronger than others and each case has its own story.
Please don’t be so quick to jusge……
Carlsbad NM. that’s why it references Las Cruces NM and the TX area. :)
Nicely stated, but the fact remains that the man is after money.
If what you are saying is that money cures the hurt, I guess you are entitled to that position. However, wallowing in 30 years of unhappiness does not seem to me to be at all productive–and is probably destructive.
To I Disagree,
I understand your point totally. My abuses were a mixture of neighbors, babysitters and relatives so really I should be screwed up but I am not. Two of my abusers were uncles and I see them sporadically which REALLY helps. The hardest thing was telling my husband because of what his possible attitude would be and being a former Navy guy, you can correctly guess I had my reservations if he wouldn’t kill my uncle. I love my uncles but I don’t have to be around them and my family found out when I was 16. I have no clue if my dad confronted his younger brother but I feel free too that it was no longer hidden inside me.
Be that as it may, a stranger I would still rather see in jail because there is a “code” for molesters in the prison system and in a morbid way, I would rather they get a taste of their own medicine in the pen than get money from them. That money would remind me of what I had to go through to get it. See my point? I could to Macy’s and shop till I drop but in the midnight hour I would still have to wrestle with those demons. There’s not enough Michael Kors or Ralph Lauren in my closet ro cover the pain and it’s really kind of weird to get paid for that. I would rather safeguards be put in place to make sure it never happens again too.
What I am saying has nothing to do with money and all to do with making the person accountable for his crime. In my point of view, if my uncle were still alive, I would sue in a Civil Court – no statute there in California….I would probably sue for $1.00 – this would make my uncle “face the music”.
Again, please don’t judge me until you have wilked a mile in my shoes. Abuse is abuse….until it happens to you, please don’t judge…..
Susan….I agree with you…sorry to hear that you had it much worse than I.
No worries. I am so glad I married someone with a little temper. If I ever changed my forgiving stance, I would gladly pay my husband to get me some physical restitution which is PRICELESS!
I wholly see your point.
While I am not a direct victim, I am an indirect one in that my wife was abused (uncle and boyfriend) long before we were married. It did not come to light until she began to see a counselor for a generalized malaise that she could not pinpoint. Fortunately, he was well versed in sexual abuse, and identified the problem within 2 months. There were many ugly times during therapy and along the road to recovery–and although there may not be a lighted sign that says, “IT’S OVER”, it does not consume her.
My point is that reliving the occurrence(s) in a public forum is pointless–and a dirtbag that chooses to abuse is not likely to be reformed or contrite. Counseling, and coming to a realization that the victim did not perpetrate the bad act is the key–not receipt of a jury verdict or settlement check.
It seems that for someone to not have the intestinal fortitude to come forward for THIRTY YEARS and only then after it’s become vogue and a source of quick cash is more than coincidence. I agree it’s all about the money otherwise they wouldn’t be asking for any. These kinds of things deserve an apology, reimbursement of medical expenses, and a fund to educate the clergy and prevent this going forward. Sending people to Disneyland makes no sense.
I am truly saddened to hear of the number of victims of sexual abuse (just in the IJ forum, no less), but I often wander if some of the “victims” would accept a lifetime of counseling in lieu of a multi-million dollar settlement. Has anyone heard of a similar suit, in which the alleged perp. was exonerated? If so, was his/her reputation completely restored?
One question needs to be answered: Why now? Why now, after 30+ years is this person suddenly coming forward and alleging he was molested? I agree with the idea of awarding counseling, but I am violently opposed to monetary settlements that don’t address the alleged “injury”. No amount of money resolves a psychological injury. Why does everything have to involve money? How deep has this society sunk?
Unfortunately society will only go deeper into the mire the more people are thrown huge gobs of cash for alleged incidents from decades ago. At least this time the alleged perp is still alive.
I have a message for him – get over it. It really is that simple. I did it. My sister did it. You just don’t let it affect your life. It truly is that simple. We did it without money and without the ability to send the guy to jail. We just got over it.
For those without whatever it takes to simply walk away from abuse, get some counseling. That should be the judgement – convicted perp to pay for counseling. Giving these people huge wads of cash only entices more people to sue for huge wads of cash. It does not give people “closure”, it does not prevent future abuse, it does not encourage true victims to come forth. Stop handing out money.
Eloquent.
Some of the comments made about working for a living, this gentleman i know personally and has the work ethic of our father and so many of you are so quick to judge about this man when you don’t know anything about him. Since the time after all this has happened, this man learned God’s word, and to see what has been going on for years not just in the catholic church this is a sin problem. I remember Brother Kerry, and befriended my parents and I also remember after this abuse took place. I was a young kid, but I remember how it turned this young man on fire for God into a confused adult, but I also remember the day of his baptism. Giving his life to Christ. I know his heart and what really needs to happen here, Brother Kerry needs to go to God and ask him for forgiveness and do the same with this gentleman. People are always so quick to say it’s about money and all they need to do is hear the real story. What you need to ask for is for the media to show the physical proof, the picture of him drinking beer with these teenagers. Not one of those teenagers in the picture are old enough to buy alcohol. There is also a letter from Brother Kerry apologizing for what he did. Well the family kept that letter all these years. Don’t blame the planktiff for the sin that somebody else has committed. There is a lot of good God loving people in the catholic church. The problem is you want to think the best of a person and praying to God that they will change, I think thats why clergy men or priests are moved around. But the bible says to warn them once, warn them twice, bring them before the church, and if they don’t change then have nothing to do with them. Of course pray for them.
I love how a couple of million will “… give the victim a chance to gain back his innocence and live a life of dignity”. What a crock of crap.
Pirate – I know everything I need to know about the case just from the fact that monetary damages are being asked for. The rest is moot in the eyes of the public. If what he wants is justice he shouldn’t sue for money. Justice would involve proving the priest guilty and having him sent to prison; not getting money from the church.
And churches need to realize they have to live under the law of the land too. They shouldn’t have the ability to punish internally for crimes committed by the clergy. These people should be hauled in front of a secular court and thrown in prison. Anybody who abets abuse by tranferring priests with criminal history to cover up the crimes should also be thrown in prison. Maybe if enough of them suffer true justice to be done they will realize that God may demand forgiveness, but the Constitution demands justice and will live accordingly.
Lastbat,
The article states that this happened over 30 years ago. The statute of limitations has probably run out for any type of criminal trial, so the victim has to resort to civil court.
I can understand the frustration of most of the posters. There are so many cases like this in litigation that you have to wonder if some of these people have an ulterior motive. Perhaps some do…maybe some don’t. Like I said in my previus post, I wish my abuser was still alive. I now have the courage to face him and his family (also my family…we were VERY close growing up) and if doing it in a civil court is the only way to bring some closure, so be it. Like I said, I would sue for a dollar….I would just want him to feel the humiliation that I felt for three years before I could tell anyone of my abuse.
On another note, I was born & raised Catholic. I went to parochial schools pre and post Vatican II. So have my children. I remeber well how all the boys got their heads slapped back for being smart. Nuns hiding rulers under their vestments….I am wondering why no one has come forth and complained about that as well. Watching these boys getting slapped at such a young age, and now all of the accusations of sexual abuse has soured me and now I question my own faith. What a shame……
it is a shell game…those in charge now take another job in the organization….the ones “responsible’ know nothing, are not available…OFM, are the worst offenders…
I’m from Carlsbad and it’s NM not CA. Allot of families and church members covered for Brother Kerry as they do for family members. The Franciscans were excellent Priest but there is always a bad seed everywhere. Brother hurt others was the rumor. Not only the one that is suing him. Brother picked the vulnerable boys. My friend told me brother molested her young brother and he went crazy. Brother liked the light skinned light eye boys. The boy that is suing him used to get drunk and pick fights at the CYO dances because he was jealous. There is blame here for the parents too. Why did you let them go with Brother Kerry out of town. As far as I know only one is suing and he is the one that used to fight because he was jealous. Brother Kerry was and is a embarrassment to the catholic faith.