Managing Agency, Company Relationships the Easy Way

By and | August 15, 2011
Editor’s Note: This article originally appeared in Insurance Journal’s Satire Issue, August 15, 2011. The content in this issue is not real and is not to be taken seriously. It’s supposed to be humorous. Seriously.

We all know the importance of maintaining good relationships with insurance companies in order for your agency to succeed. The slowdown in the economy has created changes to the internal structure of many insurance companies. In turn, agencies need to respond differently to ensure a successful working relationship.

Robert Leach, an insurance consultant, has summarized three ways to improve how your agency works with its carriers.

Don’t guess what they want. It changes too often. Just send them anything. There is a good chance that the underwriter might think the agency is going in a new direction and changed its appetite. The underwriter might just bind the account without questions.

Schmoozing company reps does not work. They get it all day long from your competitors. Instead, think of something that you know you can beat them in and challenge them to a competition. For example, one agency owner who was a black belt, challenged the company rep to a friendly fight. The agency owner was able to release his frustrations and intimidate the company rep at the same time.

Put the squeeze on the head honchos. As we hear too often in the news today, people are embarrassing themselves on the Internet, such as Rep. Anthony Wiener. Conduct some opposition research on the Internet for top-level management in the insurance companies. Dig down a few layers and include their spouses and children. It should be real easy to find embarrassing, if not scandalous information on the CEOs children’s Facebook page.

Keep in mind, the companies really don’t care about you as an individual. The successful agent is the one that knows how to get things done.

Other reports from Catherine Oak and Bill Schoeffler

Port Smith Agency Owner Missing

Malcolm Tidwell, an insurance agent from Port Smith is reported missing. The exact date of his disappearance is unknown. Police were first alerted to his disappearance by one of his clients who said that he missed their weekly golf game for two weeks in a row. Tidwell does not have any immediate family, so police want to question neighbors, his employees, and other next of kin.

Police reported that interviews with Tidwell’s employees did not produce any substantial leads. Bertha Fife, Tidwell’s lead customer service representa­tive indicated that she knew something was wrong, because her workload for the last two weeks dramati­cally dropped.

“I was finding that I had plenty of time to actually ser­vice the customers and not be put on some wild goose chase.” She indicated that the customers were also com­menting how professional and well run the agency has been.

Jessica Henke, the agency’s bookkeeper said that she was thinking something was wrong with Tidwell because the crossword puzzle and Sudoku was not filled out before her lunchtime break. “I sure hope that he comes back soon. It is almost the end of the month and he needs to sign our paychecks.”

Police request that if anyone has any leads or information regarding Tidwell’s disappear­ance, to please contact the Port Smith Police Department.

Reality Show Contestant Coverage Unveiled

Creative Insurance Solutions of Las Vegas, Nev., has just released it latest product — Reality Show Risk. This new policy is for contestants on the plethora of reality shows on television. Coverage includes demeaning belittlement from the host, including Simon Cowell, Gordon Ramsey and Donald Trump. Policyholders are also entitled to any losses sustained due to their 15 minutes of fame, such as carpal tunnel syndrome due to sign­ing autographs. Reality show celebrities, such as Kim Kardasian, are excluded from the policy. For more information contact Stephen Winn at CISLV.

Tacaño Insurance Announces New Contingency Guidelines

Tacaño Insurance Co. from Chevy Chase, Md., announced new guidelines for contingency commissions for its agents this month.

“We wanted to reward our agents who generate great business for us and help streamline the overall process for everyone,” said Philip Mackinaw, company president.

In the past, contingents were based on low loss ratios and increasing volume.

“We found that the old method simpli­fied the real situation too much and did not address today’s needs,” Mackinaw said. “Management decided that we needed to create new incentives in order to go in the direction we have for the future.”

Instead of basing contingent commissions on low loss ratios and increased volume, Tacaño Insurance Co. will be using a point system when an agent meets criteria such as:

• Submission of complete typed applications on the proper ACORD forms at least 60 days before the expiration date.

• Properly guessing of the company’s “appe­tite of the month.”

• Sailing to the land of the Sirens to attend the annual company meeting.

• Finding at least one of Mackinaw’s horcux and returning it to him safely.

• Write a 1,000-word essay on how the lesson of Sisyphus can be expanded into the role of today’s insurance agent.

Schoeffler and Oak are partners at teh international consulting firm Oak & Associates, providing services for mergers, acquisitions, management and financial consulting. E-mail: bill@oakandassociates.com. Phone: 707-935-6565. Web site: www.oakandassociates.com

Topics Agencies Talent Law Enforcement

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Insurance Journal Magazine August 15, 2011
August 15, 2011
Insurance Journal Magazine

The Insurance Journal Satire Issue! News that never happened. Features you won’t forget. Plus reader submissions, fake statistics, made-up mergers and lots more.