NOPE Says, ‘Stupidity Can Be Excluded!’

Departments of Insurance across the country are bracing for the introduction of new commercial property policy language promised by the newly-formed property insurance rating and policy form bureau National Organization of Property Exchanges (NOPE). Formed to promulgate rates and forms on behalf of many of the newly founded property insurance exchanges and currently operating group captive insurers, NOPE promises to bring new life to a rather boring and staid insurance industry.

NOPE’s strict focus on property insurance has allowed it to analyze property losses “from every angle,” according to NOPE CEO Kermit DePhrog. DePhrog goes on to say that NOPE’s primary goal in developing new commercial property policy language, “unlike any that has ever been used,” is to assure that members of exchanges and captives get the most for their premium dollar.

A review of the new policy language promulgated by NOPE indicates that many of the traditional property coverages offered in other rating organizations, such as the Insurance Services Office (ISO) and the American Association of Insurance Services (AAIS), are found in NOPE’s property form. However, there is one new and potentially game-changing exclusion found in NOPE’s property form not found in any other previously promulgated form – the “Injudicious Act Exclusion.”

“Our long research of and into commercial property claims proved what has long been expected within the insurance industry, namely that most commercial property losses are due to, well, human error,” said NOPE chief underwriting officer Waldorf N. Statler. NOPE’s goal, according to Statler, is to remove coverage for such causes.

An example of a loss covered under old terminology but excluded under NOPE’s “Injudicious Acts Exclusion” is damage caused by fire resulting from an employee’s poor judgment or lack of experience. Essentially, this exclusion is designed to remove coverage for any action of any insured that fails to meet standards of reasonable care.

“Basically we want to exclude loss caused by stupidity,” said Statler.

Reports are both ISO and AAIS are interested in this new exclusionary wording. “We want to see how the ‘Injudicious Acts Exclusion’ holds up in court before we begin the long process of filing the endorsement for our member carriers,” said one AAIS executive under condition of anonymity. “Courts may consider property policies with such provisions illusory.”

ISO and AAIS both state that this so-called “stupidity exclusion” should result in much lower property rates. In fact, AAIS calculates that property rates would likely be cut by more than half if injudicious acts could be excluded. “Our calculations are that stupidity doubles insurance rates,” according to the anonymous AAIS executive.

In case you haven’t guessed, this article is just for fun. There is no such thing as the “Injudicious Acts” exclusion; and NOPE certainly doesn’t exist. Don’t be upset with me, or let down; I just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year while giving you a little smile along the way. See you next year.

THIS IS ALL A JOKE! Just wanted everyone to have some fun.

Topics Property