Grammar Scoring Advocates Proves Their Point

Few outsiders realize credit scoring was not the first actuarial option uncovered by computer analysis of past claims. What was the first?

“Grammar scoring,” fumed veteran teacher Mary Aldred, amateur actuary and dean of the English Department at Autoview College. “It’s amazingly and uncannily accurate in its ability to predict individual driving experience. We showed clearly that students who were best able to properly stick to the rules of grammar also seemed to have the best driving records.”

After research that involved pulling of motor vehicle records and matching them to term papers run through Grammatic, Aldred said her staff “confidently” submitted their findings to several leading insurance carriers:

• Improper punctuation indicates a tendency to speed.
• Dangling participial modifiers are clear indicators of collision losses.
• Improper verb conjugation directly correlates to DUI frequency.

Despite the “amazing predictive accuracy” of this approach, Aldred says industry officials basically ignored the research. “It’s those ridiculous business school backgrounds,” sniffed Aldred. “The only punctuation an MBA understands is a decimal point.”

Chris Amrhein, Insurance is Fun!