Editor’s Note: This article originally appeared in Insurance Journal’s Satire Issue, August 15, 2011. The content in this issue is not real and is not to be taken seriously. It’s supposed to be humorous. Seriously.
Declarations
Underpricing
“If there is any underpricing by my underwriters, I want to know about it.”
— Fromius Blorch, CEO, Pricemark Insurance Co.
Proud
“We are proud of our underwriting discipline.”
— Gorkun Grimsby, CEO, Big Picture Insurance Co.
Catch Us
“Some of our competitors are giving away the business but you will never catch us doing that.”
— Octavius Groat, CEO, Bestpick Insurance Co.
Value Pricing
“While others may value market share at any price, we practice value pricing at all times in the market.”
— Titus Pluckstone, CEO, Stoneface Insurance Co.
Parting Words
“Yeah, we bend on price all the time. It’s the only way to make the quarterly numbers.”
— Graviotus Strunk, former CEO, Goodone Insurance Co.
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